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Saturday 29 March 2014

Bali Bogan Checklist ... Spot the Aussie


  • Stay in Tuban/Kuta (Legian if you are upwardly mobile)
  • Wear Bintang tank tops, Rhonda/Ketut tees have gone out of fashion, I was hanging out for some Schappelle Corby t-shirt banter, but no takers.
  • Wear peaked cap (with knockoff Designer sunglasses on top- indoors as well)
  • Over weight
  • Hair braids (including beards)
  • Walk around streets sucking on a large Bintang after breakfast (or in lieu of)
  • With kids (called Cooper, Maddison or Jayden - out of school holiday period) and grandparents (as baby sitters)
  • Last but not least, this is the clincher, tattoos - everywhere - arms, legs, backs, chests. All ages 18 years to old-enough-to-know better. I've seen old farts in their 70's get inked here. The nursing homes are going to be full of wrinkled bodies with dragons.
I suppose it is much cheaper in Bali to get tatts. Back in Australia it could cost thousands. With the cost of budget airfares (e.g. $400-$500 return) you come out a head (a dickhead).

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